Well, once again I missed a week without doing a post, and I can only say that if you are an educator, one knows how busy it gets towards the end of the school year.
Nevertheless, in this weeks lesson, I want to discuss gang members who come from families, in which all family members are entrenched in gang affiliations. I know it is difficult for many of us to believe that such family units exist. But I can assure you they do exist and you will come across one eventually, if you teach long enough.
But how does one tell if you are indeed dealing with such a family? Usually the first sign you will notice is that the gang member, in school, will not care if they get caught for their indiscretions. The reason they display such an attitude is because they know their parents will back up anything they do at school, even to the point of suspension. I know it is hard to believe that a parent would back up their child even though they may have direct proof of their child’s wrongdoing, but I have witnessed this phenomenon firsthand.
It wasn’t long after the first incident that I began to notice a pattern to these families. Many parents who are in an affiliation will often have everyone in the family involved in gang activities. So when you deal with a member from such a family, the way they behave towards the general population, often borders on arrogance with often a hint of untouchable-ness.
Trust me when I say that there is nothing a school or teacher can say to these parents, or their children, that will make them change their behaviors. What you must understand is that their gang responsibilities will far outweigh anything many of us would consider important.
One thing you will definitely notice is that in a parent conference, these parents will agree with you wholeheartedly about their child’s behavior and may even act as if they are going to deal with the issue harshly, with the opposite often occurring out of school. And don’t be fooled into thinking that they are going to help you out, because usually everything they say is a ploy to get you off their backs. You have to take into account that these types of parents probably behaved the same way when they were in school and expect as much from their children. Of course this is taking into consideration you can get them there for a conference in the first place.
Please understand that many gang families are generational in gang affiliations and have an organized system in place that promotes this mentality. Sadly, children who grow up in the gang culture are often so desensitized to violence, they often show no remorse or emotions for their actions even when confronted with proof. If a school suspends or expels the student, it only gives them the chance to do gang activities uninterrupted, with their parent’s consent.
Trust me when I say that you will definitely be able to tell when you are dealing with a true, active hardcore member (parent or child) because they will often have a cold, distant, and callous look in their eyes.
Obviously, there are so many more issues this involves that it would take a book to explain properly, hence my book website at this link with directions to buy my book at: www.gangsinourschools.com.
Thanks and come again for the next mini-lesson on gang issues in education.
Gilbert